Wat NeXt??

hiya frenz,

this is my first blog :) its been long time am planning to write blogs.. cus of 2 reasons

1) Me finished my engg. and being so vetti at home :(

2) Wanted to express my thoughts in words :P

though i really wanted to start with some happiest moments i ve had, but felt like sharing the Worst Sleepless nite in my life :(:(

Hmm.. Its all cus of the mail i got on june 17th, 3:52 pm from CTS..

well one small recap of how How ArulMozhi got into CTS...

Till the age of 12, she didnt ve many big dreams or goals to achieve... she is one lucky kiddo for her dad.. always pampered by him!! For her the world is her DAD, she didnt even care abt others... Her Dad always wanted to c her in high position in society...so tat was her aim, motto or watever at tat time. she decided to study medicine... things were fine, her dad was happy with her high school results:):) then got her hr. sec results, it was not tat bad... but couldnt fullfill her dream to becum a cardiologist :(... It was her biggest failure.. She cried and cried...Till tat she was one bold, non-fearing gal... 1st time she had 1000's of questions abt her future... And it all answered once she got admit in CEG :)

Four years of engg... She had no idea abt engineering drawing, Programming, debugging,assessments, cgpa,on-campus,intern,Dream comapnies,blah-blah and all...Things were new...Somehow she managed...Ofcourse life was like heaven... though she had some pain, she got biggest support from her frenz.. they are her BiGgEsT AsSeRt :):) She understood the Real Meaning of friendship..learnt Loads and Loads of lessons thru only experience.. (cus she slept off in many theory classes :P) She found the other side of her life... the gal who not satisfied with 95% of marks in hr. sec. now being happy tat she is 7 ptr with no arrears in colg...One fine morning she had her 1st interview for CTS and she got thru it:) Her whole family was happy :):)

Okay, now cum bak to the present...

time 4 p.m

I was totally shocked on seeing the mail from cts stating tat "you wud b joining Cognizant in one of the batches slated to join us in 2010".... Omg!! this time i got millions and millions of questions abt my future!! Wher did i go wrong?? Shud not ve chosen engg?? esply CSE??shud ve got Placed in some other company??? wat will be my next move?? y i didnt opt for hr studies??... it was endless...

I wanted to relax, but i couldn't... was restless...confirmed with my frens whether those who all placed in cts got the same mail.. Yup, there were no partiality ... :P:P

then tuk my mobile fone and dialled the 10 digits, which i usually do when am tensed up...

the phone sang, "Vizhi moodi yoosithal angeyum vandhai...", Its one of my all time fav, but not in the mood to listen...

Other End: hoii..wassup??!!

Me: Hey got mail from CTS!!:(

Other End: oh.. kewl.. wen they calling u d??

Me: 2010

Other End: wat?? ve they mentioned the date exactly?

Me: Nope, they sed early 2010.. tats it...

Other End: Lusi, no worries d.. cheer up!! CTS is not the only company u ve.. u can find someother job...And nobody gna say anything if u aint gng for job.. then y do u bother??

(tats the fact which i very well knew.. but his word always boosted up my spirits..)

Me: hmm.. yea... Arul can shine up in someother job too.. rite??

Other End: yea yea.. wat doubt in tat..now u forget it.. me g2g.. talk u later buddy!!

Me: hmm k k!! cya..

In few min, buzzing sound from gtalk...

Other End: hey u thr?

Me: yea d.. got mail :( calling us 2010..

Other End: hey come on.. y sad?? u can prep for ur dream colg LIBA.. got time to study...

(again the fact which i knew, well she reminded when am suppose to remember it)

Me: yea u r rite d:) will do tat...

Other End: All the Best d..

Still am not very clear abt wat is my next move.. Time 9 p.m.. My bro reached home.. he is the guy who always forget to speak kind words wen ppl are sad.. always with his usual facts and statistics.. (err.. i hate him for dis :( )

he: hey had dinner..

me:nope.. am very sad.. doj for cts is in 2010.. no mood ve dinner..

he: wat?? for tat u skipping food?? u think only cts is ur life.. ve u ever knew how ppl struggle for food... u got all the comforts at home, u can very well improve ur knowledge at home... u got loads of stuffs to learn other than academics.. u think all r gng to job once they finished graduation.. noway.. y do u always think ppl above u alone?? jus think abt ppl roaming the nook and corner of cities in search of job... well u got offer letter atleast... so jus cum and ve ur dinner...

me: ( had no guts to oppose my bro.. so jus nodded)

Dad, mom and anna- all gave up 100's of alternatives for this 6 month.. But still confused...

and its time to sleep.. though i wanted to sleep, my inner soul kept pestering me... I was clueless abt wat to do next?? I tried to sleep by listening to my fav songs..(tats my usual habit).. I was asleep in few min but still music was on...

"endha manidhan nenjukul kaayam illai sollungal....

....

....

uli thaangum karkal thaane man meedhu silai aagum....

yaaruku illai porratam(struggle)...

....

....

oru kanavu kandal adhu dhinam muyandral vazhvil nijamaagum" -

time 3 a.m... dunno how i got up?? and y i got up so early?? But those few lines repeated again and again in my mind...

My dream was to fullfill my dad's dream.. he didnt force me to do medicine, engg or join cts... one thing he wanted is c to me in high position in society... y cant i achieve it in anyother field??

My god.. now i have Zillion's of answers...

y not i can do tat by educating others?? ("Learn to lead"- tats wat my school taught me)

y not i achieve it by doing service to humanity?? (thani manidhan oruvanuku unavu illaiyanil jagadhinai azhithidu--- tats my fav lines of bharathiyar)

y not be an entrepreneur and give offers to 1000's of youngsters??

:):)

I still ve all my frenz to support me, my dad encourage me, my bro to criticize me...

Am getting more and more tougher to meet the the toughest part of my life... :)

P.S.: ppl thanks for reading my blog. pls do comment ur views... and sorry if there are mistakes.. will do improve it :):)